Last Tuesday was a difficult day.. I'd had a busy morning, I was at home for some lunch, and I had about thirty minutes left until heading out again.. I was planning to just chill, but one of my outdoor cats (TabTab), and the main house rottweiler, were being loud, which was unusual - I decided to go out and see what was going on..
As soon as I approached the patio door, I saw the little white body, next to the paddock gate.. I didn't even have to get closer to know that it was PeepPeep (another one of my outdoor cats), and that she was dead.. ðŸ˜ðŸ’”
I couldn't change my plans for the day, but I also couldn't leave her there.. Absolute panic..
I grabbed a pillow case (one of my ancient ones, with Snoopy and Woodstock, and lots of hearts..), plastic bags, and gloves, and found access to PeepPeep as the actual gate is currently not in use..
I have no idea what happened.. She had no marks on her, she hadn't attempted to drag herself to a hidden spot (which is something that any injured or very ill cat would do, if at all possible), her eyes were still open, and all clear.. There was only a very small amount of strong yellow vomit, on the side of her that was against the ground - it had come from the side of her mouth, so there was no sign of any "foaming" or such, which could have suggested some type of poisoning..
Whatever it was, must have killed her very suddenly - a small mercy..
She was quite stiff, but I was still able to slightly adjust her position (when wrapping her in the pillow case), so I'd estimate that she had died about an hour before I found her..
As I was wrapping her, TabTab and Little Mami (her daily breakfast and dinner friends) were watching, and so was the main house rottweiler - they were all clearly very upset.. 😢
At first, I was going to leave her waiting for me to come home, later, so that I could maybe find a burial spot for her.. But then I thought, she may have had people missing her as she was not feral at all, so I decided to take her to Village Vets Dunshaughlin, on my way out, and have her scanned..
She wasn't chipped, and I decided to have her cremated, with the ashes returned to me..
It's massively expensive (especially for my budget - €200!!!), but my other cats have been buried, and as that wasn't an option, this time, I could not just let her go.. I know I would have regretted it forever.. So, now she will come back to me, and maybe someday, I can find a beautiful burial spot for her ashes..
I don't remember when I first saw her, but it started with occasional patio visits, and as she was always so tame, I assumed that she had a home in the nearby area..
She had no tail - there was a big, puffy bump instead, and I always wondered if she'd been born like that, or if her tail had been amputated at some point..
She had the cutest high pitch voice, which is why I named her PeepPeep.. ♥
She got along well with TabTab and Little Mami - they would sometimes hiss at her, a little bit, but mostly they all accepted each other..
She even did a few kissy-kissies with Cara, at the patio door ♥
Here, she was eating with Little Mami and (her son) GinGin.. ♥
It's so heartbreaking, that I'll never hear that sweet squeaky meow again.. ðŸ˜ðŸ’”
She was the first to explore the new patio bed I bought them, earlier this summer..
Coming too close to the camera.. ♥
Maybe she didn't have a home anymore - she must have had one, being so tame.. But she had started spending more and more time on the patio, and ate 2-3 full meals per day, so I don't think she was fed elsewhere as she wasn't overweight at all.. But she seemed happy, and enjoyed herself in the sunny spots..
This was my last picture of her alive.. It's bittersweet..
She seemed quite young - I wish she could have stayed with us for many more years..
I'm also torn about not having had the time to do the usual "burial prep" for her.. I usually take some of their hair, and give them some of mine.. I write a letter, and select a toy to go with them.. But with the shock, and the shortage of time, I could only find her a pillow case I'd loved.. But she's coming back to me, in a different form..
Bye, my sweet PeepPeep.. I'll always love and miss you ♥
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